An old friend recently found me on myspace. Yes, myspace. I mean who uses myspace anymore? That is so late 1990's, so early 2000's, so high schoolish. For some reason it was myspace. Anyway, there is this quote that he put in his profile: The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything they have.
Knowing him I know that it isn't simply a quote he thought was thoughtful or deep. He lives by words like that. Such a simple person, true to himself. For as long as I've known him he's been one of the happiest people. He isn't happy because of what he has or what he has done but because of who he is. What a beautiful way of seeing the world. What a beautiful man.
I have been so anxious about the application process. This is the last sort of degree I can get. I am ready to get out of school and start working. This past summer reconnected me on so many levels to the community at home. For the first time in a very very long time I was amongst fellow kamaaina and kanaka maoli. You can tell who they are. They have a sunny soul. You can't help but be drawn to people so grounded both in the land and in their genealogy. Whenever I start to feel stressed out I think of the real ho'onalu attitude of those I know back home. I think that is what I miss about people at home. No matter what happens they know things will be ok. They've got their spirit and family. Nothing can seriously harm them.
Looking at the situation in another way it can appear stagnant. Take my own family for example. True people of the land. Dey try foa talk lai dis all da time. Dey no ken talk english good kine so nobody take em for real lai dat. As how. As how I had grow up talking. When I stay at home as as ok lai dat. Ho brah, ho dis, ho dat. Ho, we go ova hea, ova dea. Ho, you know what her had say? Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas. It is unfortunate that Hawaii creole is equated to low intelligence. Some of the most intelligent people I know speak only "pidgin". Indeed, my most heartfelt conversations are only in pidgin. But when I olelo haole, speak English, my family can't understand me. It used to frustrate me because I felt they needed to know that there was a bigger world out there which demanded proper grammar. The key insight: If we cannot speak on our own terms in our own home, where else are we to carry on the kamaaina lifestyle? If we cannot be ourselves - simple, bare, uneducated as some will say - when will we be ourselves? Let's keep the Hawaii in Hawaii.
My mother barely graduated high school. My aunt graduated from UH. My uncle has a high school diploma. My grandfather had a third grade education. My grandmother graduated from high school. Despite their deficiencies they are the most intelligent people I know. Why? Because at the end of the day they use their educational sets in the best way they can. So what if they haven't all gone to college? They've been educated in their own way. It is an education that I have also learned from them, too. When I told them that I would be going to graduate school in Berkeley one of them replied, "You no stay pau yet? Why, you had fail?" I replied, "No, I never fail. As for people who go to school after college." Another one then said, "Why you gotta do that for? Stay home with us. Come, make money. Make yourself useful. I don't know what 'graduate school' means. I don't know where Berkeley is either. But Dus, I know as nothing compared to what we do ova hea." And you know what? Both of them were right. What I do here is absolutely nothing to the sorts of things I do at home.
My mother has always taught me about how to properly respect the forest. We'd go up into the kuahiwinuis to pick traditional flora - palapalai, ohi'a lehua, maile, and of course, mokihana berries. Most of all, she taught me how to ask permission from the forest and to take only what I needed. She taught me how to leave ho'okupu in thanksgiving. Same with my uncle. Ho'opuku to the ocean for giving us fish. He showed me how to read the bird piles, how listen to the ocean, how to look at the surface of the water to see small fish. It was here that he introduced me to ho'ailona. Ever since then I knew the land would provide for me if I was humble enough to slow down, show respect, and know that I was at the mercy of creation.
Right now the family is struggling with money problems. On top of that there is plenty of family drama. A few years ago my aunty and uncle had almost hanai this one girl. She always came around and being only a year younger than me she'd tell me about some of the school gossip. Cute girl. So we took her into the family and she was always around. A couple of years ago she got hapai from some guy. When her daughter was born she asked my uncle and aunty to be godparents. They were happy to do that. Then about a year ago she got hapai again from another guy. At this point, the family wasn't ready to take another godchild on. Every time I went home I saw these three people in my living room. No blood relations. They were just there. Now the girl wants to go and meet new people. My aunty and uncle can't "control" her any more. All kinds of drama. I won't be sucked into it. My mother and I knew this day would come so we aren't shocked. Yet this situation has caused a certain divide in the family. All kine pilikia going on.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that no local family is perfect. Lots of drug abuse, lots of unwanted children. Alcoholism. Homicide. Suicide. Obesity. Depression. But for all of this they still hold true to what they are: proud sons and daughters of Hawaii. They never forget where they come from. I count myself blessed to me a part of that.
If I should fail at getting into a PhD program, if I should fail at school, at academic success, I know that I have a culture which would affirm me, challenge me, and force me to grow in ways that I am not at the present moment. I have a love/hate relationship with my culture. We have so many problems but even more blessings. At this point in my life I want to do something different than our traditional ways of living: I don't like the idea of going home and fishing for a living. I don't like the idea of growing my own food. I love the idea of reading and doing theology. But sometimes life doesn't work out that way.
At this point it is important to remember who I am. I am kamaaina. I am a Kauai boy, sprouted from humble roots. I know the land and the land knows me. I have seen the beauty of the islands and its pitfalls. The blood that flows through me is the same blood that my ancestors have shed toiling in the fields, clinging to mountains, collecting from the sea. I am part of them and they are a part of me. I may never amount to anything significant in my life. Indeed, I am certain of that. But I will always carry with me the pride to know that I have been formed by a worldview which encourages me to make the best of what I have, to be grateful for what has been given me, to make things a little better than what it was before I came across it.
In short, these are the kamaaina and kanaka maoli virtues. We practice these virtues because it brings us to our own integral flourishing. In practicing these virtues we recognize that we are really connected to one another - historically, aesthetically, culturally, and in spirit. We are all united in something greater than ourselves. It is the land, the air, the water which brings us together and sustains us. How I have come to miss the islands!
Knowing him I know that it isn't simply a quote he thought was thoughtful or deep. He lives by words like that. Such a simple person, true to himself. For as long as I've known him he's been one of the happiest people. He isn't happy because of what he has or what he has done but because of who he is. What a beautiful way of seeing the world. What a beautiful man.
I have been so anxious about the application process. This is the last sort of degree I can get. I am ready to get out of school and start working. This past summer reconnected me on so many levels to the community at home. For the first time in a very very long time I was amongst fellow kamaaina and kanaka maoli. You can tell who they are. They have a sunny soul. You can't help but be drawn to people so grounded both in the land and in their genealogy. Whenever I start to feel stressed out I think of the real ho'onalu attitude of those I know back home. I think that is what I miss about people at home. No matter what happens they know things will be ok. They've got their spirit and family. Nothing can seriously harm them.
Looking at the situation in another way it can appear stagnant. Take my own family for example. True people of the land. Dey try foa talk lai dis all da time. Dey no ken talk english good kine so nobody take em for real lai dat. As how. As how I had grow up talking. When I stay at home as as ok lai dat. Ho brah, ho dis, ho dat. Ho, we go ova hea, ova dea. Ho, you know what her had say? Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas. It is unfortunate that Hawaii creole is equated to low intelligence. Some of the most intelligent people I know speak only "pidgin". Indeed, my most heartfelt conversations are only in pidgin. But when I olelo haole, speak English, my family can't understand me. It used to frustrate me because I felt they needed to know that there was a bigger world out there which demanded proper grammar. The key insight: If we cannot speak on our own terms in our own home, where else are we to carry on the kamaaina lifestyle? If we cannot be ourselves - simple, bare, uneducated as some will say - when will we be ourselves? Let's keep the Hawaii in Hawaii.
My mother barely graduated high school. My aunt graduated from UH. My uncle has a high school diploma. My grandfather had a third grade education. My grandmother graduated from high school. Despite their deficiencies they are the most intelligent people I know. Why? Because at the end of the day they use their educational sets in the best way they can. So what if they haven't all gone to college? They've been educated in their own way. It is an education that I have also learned from them, too. When I told them that I would be going to graduate school in Berkeley one of them replied, "You no stay pau yet? Why, you had fail?" I replied, "No, I never fail. As for people who go to school after college." Another one then said, "Why you gotta do that for? Stay home with us. Come, make money. Make yourself useful. I don't know what 'graduate school' means. I don't know where Berkeley is either. But Dus, I know as nothing compared to what we do ova hea." And you know what? Both of them were right. What I do here is absolutely nothing to the sorts of things I do at home.
My mother has always taught me about how to properly respect the forest. We'd go up into the kuahiwinuis to pick traditional flora - palapalai, ohi'a lehua, maile, and of course, mokihana berries. Most of all, she taught me how to ask permission from the forest and to take only what I needed. She taught me how to leave ho'okupu in thanksgiving. Same with my uncle. Ho'opuku to the ocean for giving us fish. He showed me how to read the bird piles, how listen to the ocean, how to look at the surface of the water to see small fish. It was here that he introduced me to ho'ailona. Ever since then I knew the land would provide for me if I was humble enough to slow down, show respect, and know that I was at the mercy of creation.
Right now the family is struggling with money problems. On top of that there is plenty of family drama. A few years ago my aunty and uncle had almost hanai this one girl. She always came around and being only a year younger than me she'd tell me about some of the school gossip. Cute girl. So we took her into the family and she was always around. A couple of years ago she got hapai from some guy. When her daughter was born she asked my uncle and aunty to be godparents. They were happy to do that. Then about a year ago she got hapai again from another guy. At this point, the family wasn't ready to take another godchild on. Every time I went home I saw these three people in my living room. No blood relations. They were just there. Now the girl wants to go and meet new people. My aunty and uncle can't "control" her any more. All kinds of drama. I won't be sucked into it. My mother and I knew this day would come so we aren't shocked. Yet this situation has caused a certain divide in the family. All kine pilikia going on.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that no local family is perfect. Lots of drug abuse, lots of unwanted children. Alcoholism. Homicide. Suicide. Obesity. Depression. But for all of this they still hold true to what they are: proud sons and daughters of Hawaii. They never forget where they come from. I count myself blessed to me a part of that.
If I should fail at getting into a PhD program, if I should fail at school, at academic success, I know that I have a culture which would affirm me, challenge me, and force me to grow in ways that I am not at the present moment. I have a love/hate relationship with my culture. We have so many problems but even more blessings. At this point in my life I want to do something different than our traditional ways of living: I don't like the idea of going home and fishing for a living. I don't like the idea of growing my own food. I love the idea of reading and doing theology. But sometimes life doesn't work out that way.
At this point it is important to remember who I am. I am kamaaina. I am a Kauai boy, sprouted from humble roots. I know the land and the land knows me. I have seen the beauty of the islands and its pitfalls. The blood that flows through me is the same blood that my ancestors have shed toiling in the fields, clinging to mountains, collecting from the sea. I am part of them and they are a part of me. I may never amount to anything significant in my life. Indeed, I am certain of that. But I will always carry with me the pride to know that I have been formed by a worldview which encourages me to make the best of what I have, to be grateful for what has been given me, to make things a little better than what it was before I came across it.
In short, these are the kamaaina and kanaka maoli virtues. We practice these virtues because it brings us to our own integral flourishing. In practicing these virtues we recognize that we are really connected to one another - historically, aesthetically, culturally, and in spirit. We are all united in something greater than ourselves. It is the land, the air, the water which brings us together and sustains us. How I have come to miss the islands!
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