I'll be gone in a day or two

Well, I just turned in my transcript requests on campus. We'll see how long it takes for them to get around to it. Quite frankly I am surprised about one or two of the places I decided to apply to. We'll see what happens. I need to finish my statement of purpose tonight. Speaking of which, something really interesting has happened. One of my former professors has asked me to write a letter of reference/recommendation on his behalf to the Rank and Tenure Committee at the school. His instructions were simple: let them know what I have done for you. At first it seemed simple enough but on second or third thought it was clear to me that this would take some time. It isn't that he hasn't done a lot for me. Quite the opposite. The letter that I would want to send to the Committee would show them very concisely that this guy cares about his kids. After all he has done for me I don't want to let him down. If the Rank and Tenure Committee has half a brain they'd let this guy in. I can't think of anybody more worthy of tenure. But still, what a trip. Talk about role reversal. I guess today is the day to write both the statement of purpose and this tenure letter. Gosh. It reminds me of that one song currently popular on KCCN FM 100 in Hawaii: write me a letter and put your picture in it too.

A former classmate sent me an email last night that I wasn't quite prepared to read. She and her partner are considering adopting. I didn't know how to react: it was the greatest idea I've ever heard anybody say regarding children. I can't believe it. I honestly back her up 100%. For some reason it just "clicked" in my mind. Now she and I aren't close friends but I we're pretty familiar with one another. Her aptitude in interpersonal relationships is unmatched. Let me put it this way: I would want her to adopt me. She has a heart of gold. I am praying that this works out for her and her partner. That child will be blessed beyond measure. I think I feel this way because I trust her sense of love. She is so grounded, so real. She isn't exactly quixotic but her personality lends to a general feeling of optimism. In short: I am terribly excited for her and her partner. Words cannot begin to express the joy within me right now. These women have my unconditional support. They will love the child with an even greater love than they have already given to me.

On another subject, it's been rather cold in Berkeley recently. I wake up at 7 in the morning shivering. It's exactly the opposite of my one and a half years in the dorms. We were way up the hill in the Kaimuki campus (or St. Louis heights if you want to be technical). The view from my room was spectacular. It was of the end of Waikiki. To the far right I could see the dome of the Stan Sheriff center, aka Mecca. Mind you, these were the days where I'd wear green even if I wasn't able to go to the UH Wahine Volleyball games myself. Anyway, to the far left I could see Diamond Head. The view, of course, came with a price. There were few windows that opened. It would get super hot during the day. Nobody seemed to have enough fans to keep cool. It just so happened that the other side of the dorm was very cold. We'd make friends with the person across the hallway and have them keep their door open so the breeze would come through. In exchange they saw out of our window and got a bit of our view.

One of the girls who lived across from me was this girl from Michigan. She was rather...well endowed. She knew it but she didn't show it off. One day I was sitting at my desk reading. I look to the left and see her putting her laundry away while standing in her underwear. I said, "Hey man, why is your door open?" She replied, "Ah, fuck it. I don't mind you seeing me like this" and continued folding her laundry. I kinda sat there stunned and started to zone out while still looking at her. After a few moments I noticed that she was looking at me back. "See? My side has a different kind if view", she joked. I think I blushed and went over and sat on her bed and talked to her. It was one of those awkward bonding experiences. After all, here I was wearing my scapular and there she was half naked. It's funny how the Berkeley cold will remind me of things like this. But I think I'd rather be sweating than shivering. I never thought I'd say that.

Last night my mother and I had a talk about my return home in December. I think I am leaving Oakland on December 22nd. I'll be spending all of my time on Kauai and probably leave on the second week of January. It's time to start thinking about what I'm gonna be doing while at home. One thing is for sure: I plan to be pretty inconspicuous. No doubt I'll be fishing, planting, cooking, swimming, eating, talking, laughing, drinking, sleeping, reading, wii-ing, so on and so forth. I just don't know what I'll do with my time. After losing eight friends to Holiday season car accidents I think I'll stay away from the road as much as possible.

So what is there to look forward to? I want to see my nieces and nephews. Mass at 6:45AM. Sunday brunches. Family dinners in the garage by the grill. Beers and fishing. Going to my grandparents grave. Being in the mountains, smelling Koke'e. Running into old friends. Hiding from relatives. Early sunrise over the ocean horizon. Still, dewy nights. The rain. Dancing. Cleaning the yard. Being on the ocean from sunrise to sunset. Eating at Sueoka's. Eating at Hamura's. Eating at Ishihara's. Eating everywhere, actually. Waimea river. Nawiliwili Borders. Da Imu Hut teri burgers. Wailua river valley. Old orchestra friends. Kilauea lighthouse. Kalalau hike. Freshly pounded poi. Kalua. Poipu. Waialeale. KULOLO. E nani Kaua'i - ka i'ini pau'ole. Ai, a ka makemake.

Outside one of our windows there is a BIG pua kenikeni tree. Now if you know me you know that I love that flower. It is beautiful and smells heavenly. I planted that tree a few years ago. After the first two years it wasn't giving any flower so my mother wanted to cut it down. I of course refused, but she did anyway. I came home one day and the little shrub was gone. Heartbroken doesn't even begin to describe it. Perhaps she didn't pull out the roots because a few months after that it grew back. She wanted to cut it down again but I made sure she didn't get her hands on it. The same thing happened. No flowers. I told her to just be patient, to trust that tree is waiting to bloom at just the right time. My mother is notoriously impatient with things she can't understand. By the time I knew it I had to go to college. I made my mom promise she wouldn't touch the tree otherwise I'd be pretty upset. She held through. For the three years I was in college I'd come home and inspect the plant. It grew alright but still no flower. In 2007 I made the move to Berkeley. It wasn't until 2008 that I got a phone call from my mom - the tree had bloomed. I was ecstatic.

I couldn't understand why that tree waited for me to leave before it bloomed. Maybe it was shy. Maybe it knew that I'd appreciate it all the more when I did come back home. If that is the case that tree is wise indeed. I came home for Christmas and saw all of these little white and yellow flowers everywhere. I picked them and brought them into the house. They were as fragrant as ever. The tree seems to operate on its own time too. Traditionally the flowers open in the very early morning at night when the dew is thick. At this point they are a very pure white and tight flower. As the sun rises the flowers incrementally turn a shade of yellow, then to a dark orange at the end of the day. The weird thing about our tree is that the buds seem to open in the evening. They stay open all night and remain white until sunrise. In this way they either open extremely open or extremely late depending on how you look at it. The result is the same though: these flowers maintain their whiteness longer and thus last longer when made into lei or left around. Even as it blooms in success it does so on its own terms. All for the better.

Maybe that's how some people are, too. Right now I am thinking of two guy friends. One of them is in Japan, the other is somewhere on the East coast. It took me to be away them only to come back and find them in full bloom. They're still blooming on their own terms even against conventional wisdom. What is more, I am glad that I had enough patience not to cut them down before they had the chance. I am glad that I stayed the course with them when nobody else would. They are taking off in their personal and professional lives. One of them has just begun his own family. He has a beautiful daughter. The other, well, is living his dream of being a computer nerd. In both instances I am constantly reminded of the power of the human spirit to overcome early disasters and disappointments only to arise again fuller and stronger than ever before. I am so proud of them.